Tuesday, October 5, 2010

30 Week Appointment

I had my 30 week appointment today although I won't technically be 30 weeks until Thursday. The first thing they always do is weigh me. So far I had been doing really good with my weight gain. At my last appointment 4 weeks ago I had only gained 5 lbs so far with this pregnancy. Well, the news wasn't so good today when I stepped on the scale. In the last 4 weeks I have gained 7 lbs!! I know that's only 12 lbs altogether and that's really good but now I have this fear that I will just keep on packing on the pounds like that for the rest of my pregnancy! So that right there almost gave me a heart attack right off the bat!

So the doctor came in and measured me and listened to the babies heartbeat. Everything was good and I am actually measuring smaller than I should be! That is really hard to believe because I feel huge! He said that is common too with anencephalic babies that sometimes they are smaller than normal babies. We talked about how if I were to go into labor early that they would not stop it because the drugs they use would be bad for me and there is no reason to keep her in there longer at my expense since it will not benefit her at all. We also talked about how a lot of moms with anencephalic babies do not go into labor on their own and I may need to be induced. Which isn't a problem for me. I have been induced with all of my children and had fairly quick, easy labors. Besides all the weight I gained this month my appointment went good. I will go back in two weeks for my next appointment.

My due date is getting closer and Jacob and I were talking tonight and he said "You should probably go ahead and pack your hospital bag with everything we will need for Ella. Just in case." Which kind of put me in a panic. Packing the bag makes it all so real. That before long we will really be going to the hospital and having a baby. And coming home alone. But I know it's something I need to do. We are taking the kids to Branson this weekend and I would hate to go into labor down there and not have any of Ella's things or the things I have ready to make keepsakes. We only have one chance to get her little hand and footprints. We can't do it over once the moment has passed. So I will be packing my bag and taking it with us. Just in case.


  1. Courtney,

    I just cry every time I read your posts, and then I pray for you and your family and always for little Ella. I pray that God will bless your time together and that He will hold Ella's hand until you can hold it forever.

  2. Thank you, Cindy! The prayers mean so much to us. :)

  3. Courtney, you are one very strong person and I cry too everytime I read these. I pray you and your family everyday.

  4. Courtney,
    I found your blog through the Carrying to Term group on Baby center. I just wanted you to know that I will be praying for you and your family and for precious baby Ella. Having carried my baby Noah to term (he too had anencephaly) I know all to well the feelings you are experiencing.

    Carrying Noah was without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done. But....it was also the most rewarding.

    I would be more than happy to help you with what things you could bring or pack in order to help you with collecting precious memories of Ella. Feel free to email me if you like. If not, I completely understand.

    In the meantime, I will be praying for you all. I hope you get lots of time to spend with her.

  5. Courtney -

    I am 27 weeks pregnant with our little guy who also was diagnosed with anencephaly. When I found out at 17 weeks, this blog was one of the first things I found. I remember sobbing thinking I could never be like this brave woman, I couldn't carry my baby to term. And as I read, somewhere deep inside, I heard mommy, you have to. And here I am...reading your blog with a smile on my face as I relate to each one of your entries. So good to know that all my feelings are normal...at any rate, know that you're an inspiration to me and many others I am sure. So glad that Ella's story was one of the first that I heard during such a heart-wrenching time. Lots of prayers for you and your family.

  6. We just had the same conversation about packing a bag - we went away this weekend and had to bring Rachel's stuff with us. I had a breakdown packing b/c I don't know what I want to bring for clothes/blankets...nothing seems good enough and every decision feels so final. Simple things become complicated. I don't know about you, but everything seems to be feeling more real lately (I think we're due right around the same time) and it's getting harder as things get closer. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Hang in there. Ella is very blessed to have you for her Mama! Love, Stacy