Monday, July 26, 2010

Pity Party

I am having a bit of a pity party today so you will have to bare with me. I had my regular 20 week ultrasound scheduled for this afternoon. I had made the appointment over a month ago before we had gotten Ella's diagnosis. At my last Dr's appt my doctor had said it was up to me whether or not I wanted to keep this appointment. Jacob and I both said we did. We were looking forward to seeing our little girl and hoping the ultrasound tech could show us exactly where her defect starts and that we could get a better idea of what to expect to see when she is born. I was also looking forward to getting some new pictures of her. Our doctor said that was fine. So my mother in-law took off work early today to watch our kids. Jacob met me at the imaging center and we went in to our appointment.

I went up to the counter and told the lady my name and that I had an ultrasound at 4 o'clock. "I'm sorry but I can't find you on any of our schedules." I told her that I had made the appointment several weeks ago. She called and talked to someone in a different department. Apparently someone from my doctor's office had canceled my appointment the day after I had gotten Ella's diagnosis! I had the lady call and talk to my doctor's office. My doctor's office said they were sorry for the misunderstanding and to go ahead and reschedule my ultrasound. But of course they couldn't squeeze me in today so now I have to wait until Thursday! It was all I could do not to burst into tears at the imaging center!

It just seems like nothing is going our way lately. It's one thing after another. I had been on pins and needles all day anticipating this ultrasound and what we would see. I was excited to see our baby girl again but also nervous about getting a closer look at her defect. I was anxious for this ultrasound and anxious for it to be over at the same time. And then when I realized it wasn't going to happen today and had to talk myself down from bursting into tears and scaring the poor lady behind the counter! It would be nice if just one thing would go like it is supposed to!

So anyway, I have to do it all over on Thursday. So now my mom will have to take off work to watch the kids and Jacob will have to take off early. I will have to drink another 32oz. and hope my bladder doesn't explode! And hopefully this time I will actually get to see my baby and get some answers. So I am a little bit crabby today and having a bit of a pity party. I also have my 20 week Dr's appointment on Wednesday so I will try to update then and then again after my ultrasound on Thursday. Sorry that I don't have anything more exciting to report today. Tune back in later in the week!


  1. If anyone deserves a pity party Courtney--you do! So go ahead and have it! Because everyone will still love and admire you for the special lady you are!!!! Love your Aunt Donna

  2. Oh baby I'm so sorry, go ahead and have a good cry. I' probably have one with you. I can't wait to see you on Thursday.

  3. We've only had the 2 ultrasounds but they were so precious to us, we particularly enjoyed the second one as being time to watch Sammy move and try to memorize his little self. I hope we get another one sometime before he's born.

    I will pray that all goes well Thursday and you can get some questions answered. We have not been able to get any good profile or head pictures. At our 1st ultrasound they didn't give us any pictures and at the second one he kept his hands around his face and his head buried near my hip.


  4. Just wanted to say hi... I'm on the Carrying to Term Babycenter board. Thinking of you and your sweet Ella as you are on this journey. Our daughter was born in February after an adverse diagnosis. Though we miss her more than words can say, carrying her has been the greatest blessing of my life. ((hugs)))

  5. I would be having a total pity party too!!!!! I just want you to know that I have burst into tears on several people, it isn't their fault, but we are walking a tough road. I am excited you get to go back Thursday. Our 20 week was so special to go back and watch. You might want to see if you can bring a DVD. My hubby cried when he watched it. But you could also see the anencephaly pretty clearly, which gave us some peace to know that it was true. Glad to have met you on babycenter, I will be emailing you soon!!