Thursday, July 29, 2010

20 weeks

Today has been a bittersweet day. I am 20 weeks pregnant today. Usually 20 weeks is a big milestone because it means you are half way through your pregnancy. But for me half way to her birth also means half way to her death. I had my 20 week ultrasound today also. Which went really well! The ultrasound techs that I had were awesome and took a lot of time showing us every inch of her and answering our questions as best they could. Good news is that my amniotic fluid levels are perfectly normal so far. Ella had fluid in her stomach and bladder so it looks like she is swallowing a least a little.

We got a good look at her defect and it looks like her skull stops right above her eyebrows in the front and at about ear level at in the back. That is good news! I was hoping for some skull in the back so that maybe she will have some soft baby hair that we can get a lock of. We got 4 good pictures. Two pictures of her little feet, a potty shot, and a cute picture of her little hand. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of her face. I was hoping for a good profile shot. I know the tech got some good ones so I am hoping my doctor will make me a copy of a few of them. Her heartbeat was a steady 154. She kicked and moved and tried to keep her hands in front of her face the whole time!

But all in all I was just glad to see her and see that she is doing ok in there and to know she is growing like she is supposed to. Jacob and I were truly happy and excited for our ultrasound today and we thoroughly enjoyed it. We laughed at the silly things she did and smiled at how big she is getting. I hope that is how her birth will be. That we will just be so happy basking in the beauty and wonder of our daughter that we won't have time to think of all the sad and difficult days to come. That we can just absolutely enjoy or daughter while she is here.

A few pictures of Ella:

A picture of her little foot.

She has her index finger up. She may also have her thumb out giving the "loser" sign!Lol!

This picture was from our 16 week "fun" u/s to find out Ella's gender. This is the only good profile shot we have so far.


  1. Sweet baby, Ella! She is already loved and adored by so many! You paint a beautiful picture of your story. Thank you for sharing! Love you guys!! ;)

  2. Your story is an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing. I am so impressed by your positive outlook and how you celebrate every moment. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. Courtney, your strength continues to amaze me! I love that you are sharing Ella with all of us! Thank you.

  4. Yay! I thought of you all yesterday and prayed everything would go well. So glad to read about it.


  5. I am thankful to hear you had a kind and sweet ultrasound tech! Mine didn't print out a profile picture either at our 20 week, and I wanted to run back in and ask for one. Praying for a sweet pregnancy and special, intentional time with Ella now, while you are carrying her. You are giving her such a gift. I know the weeks are flying by for me. I am going in for another ultrasound in a week and a half. Hope you have a wonderful week.

  6. You are certainly in my prayers! I am Vernice Robertson's daughter (who is Betty's niece)! Much love and blessings!

  7. You know Courtney I didn't realize it was possible to love a child that someone else is carrying. Your sharing of the pictures of Ella and describing them to us make her so real to us. I keep looking at the pictures and try to figure out more each time. I feel like I know Ella and I know it will be hard to lose her. There is a verse in the Bible. "You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy...and no one will take away your joy" (John 16:20,22). Ella will be in heaven happy and whole and even though we will miss her he has given us the courage to continue. Thank you, Father, that joy will follow our sorrows. Thank you Courtney for sharing Ella with me. Love, Aunt Donna