It's Here

It's Ella Day! I am getting ready to leave for the hospital here in about 30 minutes. I will try to update through out the day. Thank you all for the many good thoughts and prayers. Today is the day we need them most!

E Day

Well, it looks like Friday is Ella day! They are going to induce me on Friday morning. I am so glad! And so heartbroken. This is not how I pictured this going. I was supposed to be induced at 39 or 40 weeks. Not 33. I pictured a chubby newborn baby. Not a tiny preemie. But I hadn't bargained on all of this dumb fluid! I am so miserable. My back and my ribs are killing me. No matter what I do or what position I am in it hurts. I know I can't go on much longer like this. At least not without losing my mind. So instead of a December birthday she will be born in October. I am just praying that labor will go quickly and smoothly and we will get some time to spend together as a family before we have to say goodbye. I know the next couple of days are going to be hard, physically and emotionally. I am just hoping Friday our hospital room is filled with joy as we welcome our 4th child into the world.

What will tomorrow hold?

I had an ultrasound this evening to check my fluid levels. My amniotic fluid is now measuring 40.41 cm. At 32 weeks the average amount of amniotic fluid is 14.4 cm. The amniotic fluid index charts that I could find on the internet only went up to the 97th percentile which was 26 cm so it looks like I am way off the charts. The sonographer called my doctor after my ultrasound to see if they wanted to see me today but everyone was already out of the office. She talked to my doctor by calling the after hours hotline and he said to call first thing in the morning for an appointment. They want to see me tomorrow. I am guessing that if they want to see me then they are going to want to do something. Either drain the amniotic fluid or induce me. I am just hoping for some relief. I have been having horrible pain in my back and ribs. I guess from the pressure of all of the fluid.

So I have a feeling that some decision will be made tomorrow. That even if tomorrow isn't going to be her birth date that we will at least have some idea when that day will be. I have very mixed emotions. I am very ready for this pregnancy to be over but not ready for her to be born. I so wish I wasn't having these fluid problems and I could just leave her in there as long as possible. But it is getting very physically difficult to continue and I know at some point it will be dangerous for me. I am just trying to trust that this is all happening in God's time. So tonight could be my last night with Ella inside me. That is hard. But I am just trying look forward to the excitement of getting to meet her and spend some time with her before we have to give her back.

32 Week Appointment

Well, 31 weeks 5 days. I should have known it wasn't going to be a great appointment when I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained 5 more pounds in the past 2 weeks! I saw the nurse practitioner today because my doctor is out of town. I am measuring 35 weeks now instead of almost 32. So I have to go for an ultrasound on Monday to check my fluid levels. She said if my fluid levels keep going up then it looks like we will probably have to deliver sooner than we thought. Which I was hoping to avoid but I am starting to get pretty uncomfortable and I can't imagine getting much bigger. Ella's heart rate was down a little bit lower than it has been which also makes me a little bit nervous. For most of my pregnancy it stayed right in the 150's. At my ultrasound Saturday it was 143 and today it was 138. The nurse practitioner said anything above 120 is perfectly normal and they don't get worried unless it drops below that but I would feel better if it were a little bit higher. So I will go Monday for my ultrasound and then my next appointment is November 2nd. I guess we will see where my amniotic fluid levels are and go from there.

Here I thought I had at least 6 more weeks and it's a little bit scary to know she may be here before then! And on top of everything else I have an awful cold and just feel like laying around and doing nothing. On a happy note though we went this past Saturday to one of those elective ultrasound places and had another 4D ultrasound done! After seeing Ella when Melanie did our ultrasound on Tuesday we just couldn't get enough! We got a DVD of the entire ultrasound, a CD full of pictures, and a teddy bear that has Ella's hear beat recorded on it. Unfortunately we are having technical difficulties with the CD drive on our computer. So as soon as I get to Wal-mart I will get prints of all of the ultrasound pictures so I can scan them and get them up. They turned out really good!

30 Week Ultrasound

First and foremost a HUGE thank you to my friend Melanie for doing this ultrasound for us! It was so good to see Miss Ella again even if she didn't exactly want to cooperate. She is wedged down really low and was moving around like crazy and it made it really hard to get a good shot of her. Melanie was also able to tell me that my fluid levels are a bit high. In a normal pregnancy at 30 weeks amniotic fluid levels are usually around 12-14 cm. I have about 20 cm of amniotic fluid. But the good news is that Ella is exactly the size she should be for a 30 week baby. And as always she looked pretty perfect except for the fact that she is missing the top of her head! So here are a few pictures of Ella!


Ella from the outside! (Pay no attention to my messy bathroom)



A shot of her little nose and mouth.


In this picture you can see where her head ends and a little bit of her brain sticking up out of her skull.


She has her hand on top of her face above her nose like she is saying "Enough with the pictures already!"



This is one of my favorites! She was putting her thumb in her mouth to suck it.


A profile shot.


A picture of her sweet feet! (Melanie assured me that her legs were not cut off it was just the angle of the shot!:-))

30 Week Appointment

I had my 30 week appointment today although I won't technically be 30 weeks until Thursday. The first thing they always do is weigh me. So far I had been doing really good with my weight gain. At my last appointment 4 weeks ago I had only gained 5 lbs so far with this pregnancy. Well, the news wasn't so good today when I stepped on the scale. In the last 4 weeks I have gained 7 lbs!! I know that's only 12 lbs altogether and that's really good but now I have this fear that I will just keep on packing on the pounds like that for the rest of my pregnancy! So that right there almost gave me a heart attack right off the bat!

So the doctor came in and measured me and listened to the babies heartbeat. Everything was good and I am actually measuring smaller than I should be! That is really hard to believe because I feel huge! He said that is common too with anencephalic babies that sometimes they are smaller than normal babies. We talked about how if I were to go into labor early that they would not stop it because the drugs they use would be bad for me and there is no reason to keep her in there longer at my expense since it will not benefit her at all. We also talked about how a lot of moms with anencephalic babies do not go into labor on their own and I may need to be induced. Which isn't a problem for me. I have been induced with all of my children and had fairly quick, easy labors. Besides all the weight I gained this month my appointment went good. I will go back in two weeks for my next appointment.

My due date is getting closer and Jacob and I were talking tonight and he said "You should probably go ahead and pack your hospital bag with everything we will need for Ella. Just in case." Which kind of put me in a panic. Packing the bag makes it all so real. That before long we will really be going to the hospital and having a baby. And coming home alone. But I know it's something I need to do. We are taking the kids to Branson this weekend and I would hate to go into labor down there and not have any of Ella's things or the things I have ready to make keepsakes. We only have one chance to get her little hand and footprints. We can't do it over once the moment has passed. So I will be packing my bag and taking it with us. Just in case.

Sorry it's been so long

I have been really bad about updating my blog. I am in my third trimester now. The home stretch. In 11 weeks Ella will be here, if not before then. This pregnancy has really been a lot easier than I thought. When we first got Ella's diagnosis I wasn't sure how hard it would be to carry her to term. But it really hasn't been as bad as I had feared. I was nervous about people who don't our situation asking me questions about my pregnancy and that it might be hard to find the answers. But really it hasn't been. When strangers ask questions like "when are you due" or "do you know what you are having", I answer them. " I am due in December with a baby girl." Most people I know know about our situation whether from facebook, or my blog, or just word of mouth. Everyone has been so supportive and great. They always give me a hug and tell me they are praying for Ella and our family. Although I have to admit a time or two I have seen people in the store that I know and I am not sure whether they know about Ella or not and I panic and run the other way! So if you have seen me in Wal-Mart and it looks as if I am running from you it's not because I don't like you, it's just that I can't talk about it right then.

I finally contacted the funeral home and talked to them about all of our options when she is gone. I just need to make an appointment to go in and finalize the arrangements and prepay so once she is born all we have to do is make a phone call and everything will be taken care of. We have decided to have her cremated. We don't own any burial plots anywhere and even though the funeral home said there are several cemeteries that offer plots free of charge for infants we have decided against burring her. We are young and who knows where we will be in the future. I hate the thought of moving one day and leaving her behind. So she will be cremated and whenever Jacob or I pass away her ashes will be put in our casket with us.

My next doctor's appointment is next Tuesday. After that I will start going every two weeks instead of four. I am starting to get to that point in my pregnancy where I am getting uncomfortable. My back aches, my ribs are sore and I am having trouble sleeping at night. I know that's all a normal part of pregnancy but I was hoping maybe I could skip all of that this time. But no luck. I am hoping to do a 3D/4D ultrasound soon so hopefully I will have new pictures of Miss Ella for you all! As my due date gets closer I am really excited to meet this girl and finally find out exactly who she is and see who she looks like! I have such mixed emotions. I can't wait for her to get here but at the same time I wish this pregnancy would never end.